I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
