The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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