Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
