just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
