Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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