love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
