theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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