That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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