Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize