I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
