CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
