As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize