none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Im part way to drunk.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
