I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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