I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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