So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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