hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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