dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
