I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is classic penis vs brain.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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