Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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