Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
