i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
