Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize