I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
