He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
