put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize