i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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