dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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