I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
