I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
