just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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