I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
