It's Friday. Sex?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
