last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i believe in u and ur pee
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