i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
