Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
