Where are you?
In a non slutty way
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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