none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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