I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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