I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
