I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
