We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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