Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
