ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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