Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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