dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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