You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
