we're blogging at a bar
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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