I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Drake has all the answers
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize