i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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