honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My vagina just recognized that song.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
