Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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