Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
