I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
