He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
