i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
