is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
