can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize