Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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