My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
