I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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